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AL SICHERMAN

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    Five Finn-flareup finalists: Vote for the verse victor

    For a while there it looked as if the first Verse or Worse challenge was either too hard or too easy for MinnPost's witerati: On Day One we got only two entries.

    But eventually the possibility of winning an inestimably valuable MinnPost T-shirt for writing a limerick about an incident at the airport apparently was too good to resist — even if the incident in question involved Finnish acoustic musicians, not Larry Craig.

    Two submitters dragged the troubled toe-tapper into it anyway, but they didn't make the Top Five, as chosen by the unimpeachable Verse or Worse panel of judge. (That panel, dear reader; that panel is me.)

    I'm pleased to note that the only overlap among the five top entries is that two of them rhyme "Helsinki" with "stinky." Inexplicably, not a single entry referred to the Hostess Twinkie.

     

     

    And now you get to choose the winner from among the top five by voting in our survey.

    Contest ends at 5 pm on Thursday, Nov. 22.

    Here are your choices.

    Truth-in-something declaration: Two of the finalists — Steve Brandt and Bridget Fensholt — are people personally known to me. (Hey, I personally know a lot of people.) If that troubles you, you are free not to vote for their limericks. In fact, you're free not to vote at all, but where's the fun in that?

    1.
    There once were three Finnish musicians,
    Who were greeted with U.S. suspicions.
    Customs goons threatened jail
    While the frightened Finns quail
    At the specter of folk song renditions.
    —Suzanne Merideth

    2.
    Three acoustical, musical Lapps
    Fell into our MSP traps.
    The judge's conclusion?
    Most likely, confusion:
    INS thought their visas said "lapse."
    —Jill Field

    3.
    The artists came fresh from Helsinki,
    Not intending to do something kinky,
    Immigration went wild
    Like an unruly child
    And turned a good time really stinky!
    —Sam Fleitman

    4.
    They'd heard of Minnesota Nice.
    Then they met the agents from I.C.E.
    Who went through their strings
    And unmentionable things
    And found nary a trace of vice.
    —Steve Brandt

    5.
    They said to our guy in Helsinki
    The way we've been treated is stinky
    We need some a-tone-ment
    For our tour's postponement
    We can't play 'cause our thumbs are too inky!
    —Bridget Fensholt

    (Bridget's limerick was submitted as a second verse to my sample limerick, which outlined the situation. I found that odd, but hardly disqualifying.)

    On Nov. 26, the results of the voting (who hauls in that breathtaking MinnPost T-shirt?) — and a new challenge.

    Like what you just read? Support high-quality journalism in Minnesota by becoming a member of MinnPost.

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    Al Sicherman
    Illustration by Hugh Bennewitz


    minnpost.com/alsicherman



    Al Sicherman worked at the Star Tribune in Minneapolis from 1968 to 2007, initially as a copy editor and eventually as a food writer and humor columnist. He has a bachelor's degree in electrical engineering from Illinois Institute of Technology and much work toward an MA in journalism from the University of Minnesota. (He didn't finish his thesis. You wouldn't have either.) He can be reached at asicherman [at] minnpost [dot] com.

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