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AL SICHERMAN

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    Vote for the veriest verb

    Your genial Verse or Worse host had not thought about whether it should be constitutional to submit more than one entry for a given contest. But that very situation arose last week, in the heated competition involving coining a verb from a proper noun.

    On extended contemplation, having consulted both the Code of Hammurabi and Robert's Rules of Order, he issues the following carefully crafted ruling: "Why not?"

     

     

    Does it then follow (as the night the day) that your genial Verse or Worse host should be free to include, in his selection of a contest's top five entries, more than one entry from the same person?

    On further deep introspection, he has decided thusly: "Yes, but no more than two."

    All of this is to avoid the likely thousands of angry MinnPostcards reading "Hey, two of your top five entries are from the same guy," or words to that effect.

    Indeed, that is so.

    That said, here are the top five entries. Cast your vote for the winner by clicking here. (Only one vote per person.) Voting ends at 5 p.m. Thursday, Jan. 24. Winner receives an intensely attractive MinnPost T-shirt.

    To parridder: to act with hubris. "He parriddered around like he could do no wrong, but the judge thought otherwise."
    — Cynthia Scott

    To (fred) thompson: To have a stifled zeitgeist brought on through excessive Ronald Reagan evocation and an overall lack of hard work. "I wonder who will fill the role of crotchety-old-pundit when George Will thompsons?"
    — Joe Widmer

    To soprano: To fade out inexplicably. "I thought the Vikes would go deep into the playoffs, but as they got to the end of the season, they just sopranoed."
    — Ervin Stembol

    To dumbledore: To out someone as gay who is not in a position to comment. "How is Abraham Lincoln like Batman? They both have been dumbledored."
    — Ervin Stembol

    To apple: To magnify a price (as in iPhone), or to exaggerate worth. "The salesman appled the automatic back scratcher, because it had recently been purchased by a Hollywood chiropractor."
    — Sarah Washko

    Check MinnPost on Monday, Jan. 28, for the results of the vote (who won the mind-numbingly pleasant MinnPost T-shirt?) — and a new challenge.

    Like what you just read? Support high-quality journalism in Minnesota by becoming a member of MinnPost.

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    Al Sicherman
    Illustration by Hugh Bennewitz


    minnpost.com/alsicherman



    Al Sicherman worked at the Star Tribune in Minneapolis from 1968 to 2007, initially as a copy editor and eventually as a food writer and humor columnist. He has a bachelor's degree in electrical engineering from Illinois Institute of Technology and much work toward an MA in journalism from the University of Minnesota. (He didn't finish his thesis. You wouldn't have either.) He can be reached at asicherman [at] minnpost [dot] com.

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