John Flowers of McSweeneys.net channels his inner Newt to create a version of the famous “Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus” letter. The faux Gingrichian version begins…
“Dear Virginia:
I’m not going to talk about what I have previously said on the topic of Santa Claus. The record is perfectly clear: Yes, Virginia, I am in favor of a Santa Claus.
What I do want to talk about is what I see you and your friends doing, which is playing into the media’s game. You are buying into the fiction and the rumors and the outright lies the media peddles about Santa Claus. It is a liberal invention, one designed to get 8-year-olds fighting each other so that they don’t pay attention to the absolutely abysmal record of job creation under the current President. And, frankly, I’m against it…”
