From gentle Keillorian musings to our big national anxiety

Courtesy of Plymouth Church
Garrison Keillor

Best line in Garrison Keillor’s latest column:

(But first, in case you hadn’t noticed, the man from Lake Wobegon now expresses himself frequently in columns for the Washington Post.)

In Tuesday’s column, he notes that as he drove west across time zones, he tried to change the time on his laptop, but the time-zone-changing function wouldn’t allow it without a password. Which made him wonder what danger, what threat causes the time-zone-change function to be password-protected. Which led to the best line (according to me) in the Keillor column:

I grew up in an America with no passwords and many fewer warning signs. Now we buy coffee in cups that say, ‘Caution: Hot Beverage.’ Someday I will drive by a sign: ‘Turn On Wipers In Event Of Rain.’

When I spotted this paragraph, which made me laugh, I thought to myself: “Oh good. Some gentle Keillorian humor to take our minds off of You Know Who. But, alas, after waxing Keillorianly for a sweet while on the general topic of modern anxiety, a couple of paragraphs later:

And now, a new anxiety that our history has not prepared us for, a fear that we have elected George III to the presidency and we may not survive three and a half more years of his madness. For the first time in our history, we are looking to generals to save us from democracy.

Just can’t escape this president for long.

The full column is here.

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