Trump (satire alert) did what? And they said what?

In a hilarious satire (to me at least), Jay Bookman, who writes for the Atlanta Journal-Constitution (and writes this piece under the pseudonym “Jess Kiddin”), imagines the reactions of Washington Republicans upon hearing the news that President Trump has shot Michael Avenatti in the middle of Fifth Avenue in Manhattan.

Read the whole thing. It’s short and the punch lines are fast and furious. For example:

Sen. Bob Corker of Tennessee and Sen. Jeff Flake of Arizona quickly introduced a resolution warning the president of potential censure should he again pull out a gun and shoot somebody. They withdrew that measure after Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell made it clear that he would not bring it to a floor vote, calling it “divisive” and “unnecessary.”

And, again, for the humor impaired, this did not really happen, at least not as of this writing.

Hat tip: CG.

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Comments (5)

  1. Submitted by Paul Brandon on 04/24/2018 - 03:35 pm.

    How can you parody

    a walking talking parody?

  2. Submitted by Connie Sullivan on 04/25/2018 - 11:42 am.

    America still has freedom of speech, and that permits sharp satire like this piece from Bookman.

    At last! somebody connects the dots of Trump’s bragging about what his blinkered supporters would permit him to do with impunity (shoot someone on Fifth Ave in Manhattan, a campaign claim) and the flaccid and unmanly reaction from the Republicans in Congress ( a Big Zero, as noted by Bookman here) to the outrages Trump really has committed as President.

    Thanks for pointing out this satire for us, Eric! Some days we really, really, need to laugh at this doofus some Americans elected.

  3. Submitted by Paul Brandon on 04/25/2018 - 12:37 pm.

    Just a note

    America’s vaunted ‘Freedom of Speech’ is mostly a tradition, not a fact of law.
    The First Amendment only forbids suppression of speech by the government, not by corporate or social pressure.

    • Submitted by Connie Sullivan on 04/26/2018 - 10:26 am.

      I hope you don’t think, Paul, that Donald Trump wouldn’t suppress such satire as this if he could, under the law or without the law. He tries to suppress facts and ideas contrary to his will any way he can.

      After all, as we just learned from the Comey memo release, Trump recommended strongly that government “leaks” to the press should be addressed by jailing the reporters until the harsh realities of prison made them change their mind and reveal their source (he actually alluded to the probability that they’d be raped–“make a new friend”–while in prison for several days).

      Autocrats and other dictators hate freedom of speech, and it’s the first thing to go in corporate existence and then in public discourse. Vigilance is needed to keep our Constitutional rights (I lived for a while under a military fascist dictatorship–not fun at all for a freedom-loving American and an experience that leaves one with a strong Bill of Rights fervor and pretty constant alert).

  4. Submitted by Holly Wenzel on 04/25/2018 - 01:47 pm.

    When reality is already absurd

    Satire writers have a tough job in the age of Trump. I’m under the impression the New Yorker began flagging The Borowitz Report as Satire From The Borowitz Report shortly after the 2016 election. Otherwise, how could we tell?

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