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Tunheimmilan’s Posterous: Denny Hecker wants you to know, he’s really a good person

Denny Hecker stood in front a judge, a bunch of attorneys and a hoard of media types sniffling and crying when he uttered a phrase that, over the years, has become a big warning sign for me. The phrase? “I really am a good person.”

Denny Hecker stood in front a judge, a bunch of attorneys and a hoard of media types sniffling and crying when he uttered a phrase that, over the years, has become a big warning sign for me. The phrase? “I really am a good person.”

I have heard this line uttered throughout my life by some of the worst people I have ever known. Apparently, this is the phrase drug dealers, forgers, scam artists and basic scum of the earth use when they find themselves in a spot from which they have no way to escape. Of course, Denny Hecker has been branding himself this way for years in TV and radio ads that had that terrible jingle “good people helping good people.”

Sorry if that jingle is stuck in your head for the rest of the day.

But I digress. Back to the “I’m a good person” positioning. How often is it used? And by whom? Check this out. The list of infamous “good people” is pretty — wait for it — good. Paris Hilton said “I’m a good person” in a People interview after serving 23 days in jail for twice driving with a suspended license in violation of probation on a drunk driving charge.

E! Online captured Lindsay Lohan uttering the “I’m really a good person” quote. This one came during a rambling interview in which she said the recession has affected her mortgage. Really? Oh, BTW, Lindsay also commented in the 2009 article that “you have to make mistakes to learn so you can grow up and live your life the right way.” Well Lindsay is making a torrid commitment toward growing up. This week she took another big step in her learning process as she was charged with stealing an expensive necklace from an LA jewelry store. The rate at which she is learning is simply astounding.

Others, who uttered the “I’m a good person” line include Snooki from Jersey Shore. But she managed to altered it in a way that only a Jersey Shore cast member could.  Snooki inerted an F’ing-bomb prior to “good person” in her quote.  R. Kelly said “I’m a good person” back on ’04 when he was facing multiple child porn charges. Don Imus said, “I’m a good person who said a bad thing. And the list goes on and on. Like I stated out the outset, the minute someone says “basically, I’m a good person” — I reach for my wallet and head for the door.

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There might be a silver lining in all this for Denny Hecker. He always wanted to be celebrity. He paid millions (using other people’s money) to buy ads with his mug plastered all over them. Now, Denny is a “celebrity” who not only talks like the stars but ‘s also earning some real street cred — in prison. I wonder if this means that when he gets out of prison there will be a rap version of “good people helping good people.”

This post was written by Patrick Milan and originally published on Tunheimmilan’s Posterous Follow Patrick on Twitter:@pmilan