Bills’ Minnesota currency proposal: Change we can believe in?

U.S. Senator Amy Kloubachar’s virtually invisible campaign opponent Kurt Bills borrows many of his policy ideas from his mentor, libertarian presidential candidate Ron Paul.  One of the least discussed of Bills’ proposals is his call for Minnesota to consider issuing its own currency.

minnesota currencyLike Congressman Paul, Mr. Bills backs a national return to the gold standard.  In addition, Bills has sponsored state legislation to study whether Minnesota should adopt an alternative currency.  Bills’ bill (H.F. 1664):

“A joint legislative committee is established to study the adoption of an alternative currency by and for the state of Minnesota and its citizens, in response to the abdication by the United States Congress of its constitutional duty to regulate the value of its money, which it has failed to do through the Federal Reserve System.”

Financial experts are not so sure about Mr. Bills’ state currency idea.  For instance David Parsley, a professor of economics and finance at Vanderbilt University was quoted by CNN saying:

“Having 50 Feds” could debase the U.S. dollar and even potentially lead the country into default.  The single currency in the United States is working just fine.  I have no idea why anyone would want to destroy something so successful — unless they actually wanted to destroy the country.”

Despite the naysayers, the prospect of having a cool new state currency raises many creative possibilities for Minnesotans.

Name.  For instance, what would we call the new Minnesota currency?

MinneDollar quickly comes to mind, but that seems much too obvious.  Plus, if the dollar collapses, as Mr. Bills foresees, “MinneDollar” wouldn’t inspire much confidence, now would it?

Alternatively, perhaps Minnesota’s dollar could be called “ “The Viking,” to symbolize our ability to dust ourselves off after humiliating defeats, and come back for more humiliating defeats, without ever seeing the epic futility of it all.  Very Minnesotan.

Or, the corporatist Republicans controlling the Legislature might prefer to sell off the naming rights of the new Minnesota currency for a price, to someone like Twin Cities Federal (TCF) Bank, which  already owns the naming rights to a largely taxpayer-funded stadium, and is run by a former GOP Party Chairman.  Yes, Minnesota’s equivalent to “the dollar” could be called “The TCF.”

Finally, there is always “The Gopher.” What better name to carry on Minnesota’s rich tradition of picking really humiliating names to represent our state?  Plus, “Golden Gopher?”  Gold standard?  Get it?

Faces.  After we name our new currency, we, of course, need to put a good face on it.

America’s first President, George Washington, preferred faceless money.  He was staunchly opposed to putting President’s images on U.S. currency.  Modest George thought doing so was too self-aggrandizing, elitist and monarchical.  In other words, George was a socialist.

However, something tells me that the likes of Jesse Ventura and Tim Pawlenty wouldn’t let modesty get in the way of monetary immortality for themselves.  So we’ll let those former Governors fight it out to determine whose face is on our new Minnesota currency.

Why did I leave current Governor Mark Dayton off my list?  Ah shucks, Modest Mark doesn’t need that.  (Owning most of the new currency is good enough for him.)

Motto.  After our currency has a name and a face, it would need a motto, something akin to the saying on U.S. currency, “In God We Trust.”

If we go with selling off the naming rights, as contemplated above, I guess we’d need the new currency motto to be “Your convenience bank.”  Stop whining, it will grow on you.

“In Ron Paul We Trust” also could work, since Mr. Paul is the brainchild of all this, and because he is treated like a deity by his adoring followers.

But given the Minnesota Republicans’ obsession with proving they are tighter with the Almighty than everyone else, the GOP-controlled Legislature would probably make the motto something more like “In God We Trust, Unlike the Godless Liberals.” Bam.  On-message.

The more I think about it, though, the more I think my vote for the new Minnesota currency name goes to “The Loon.” I know it’s hackneyed.  But loons are graceful creatures with a gorgeous call that is closely associated with Minnesota’s iconic lakes.   Loons are our State Bird.  ”Common Loons” are both beautiful and “common,” just like the great people of Minnesota.

Besides, “The Loon” perfectly captures the merits of the Mr. Bills’ idea.

This post was written by Joe Loveland and originally published on Wry Wing Politics

If you blog and would like your work considered for Minnesota Blog Cabin, please submit our registration form.

You can also learn about all our free newsletter options.

Comments (5)

  1. Submitted by John Peschken on 09/13/2012 - 11:22 am.

    The Loon

    A bit too close to the Canadian Dollar, commonly called a “Loonie”.

    Sadly, I think selling the naming rights is the most likely scenario. Probably have advertising, pull-tabs, scratch-off’s, or lottery numbers on the back, too.

  2. Submitted by Paul Brandon on 09/13/2012 - 01:08 pm.

    I assume that

    his first issue will be three dollar Bills
    (as in phoney as a ….)

  3. Submitted by Fred Fuhldang on 09/13/2012 - 01:28 pm.

    MN Currency

    I’m really not looking forward to walking around with pockets full of Loon feathers, taconite nuggets and shelled corn, so I’m voting for Klobuchar.

  4. Submitted by Donald Larsson on 09/13/2012 - 03:57 pm.

    Minnesota Currancy ideas

    Call it “KurtKash.” Paper money could be “Billsbills”
    Logo–a corndog on a stick
    Motto–“Uff Da!”

  5. Submitted by John Turmel on 09/13/2012 - 07:15 pm.

    TURMEL: Joe Loveland blows Minnesota Community Currency idea

    http://www.minnpost.com/minnesota-blog-cabin/2012/09/bills%E2%80%99-minnesota-currency-proposal-change-we-can-believe
    Bills’ Minnesota currency proposal: Change we can believe in?
    Wry Wing Politics
    By Joe Loveland

    JCT: Finally, real change we can believe in, a Minnesota
    currency proposal. Remember that the Argentine Solution won
    the Occupy Wall St. Silver Bullet award to fix the world
    where Argentine Provinces paid all their employees and
    expenses with small-denomination provincial bonds which all
    could use for Power, Taxes, Medical and Licenses. It worked
    wonderfully to help them go from broke in 2001 to all
    foreign debt paid off in 2006! Seems Minnesota wants to lead
    the way in the US.

    JL: U.S. Senator Amy Kloubachar’s virtually invisible
    campaign opponent Kurt Bills’ proposals is his call for
    Minnesota to consider issuing its own currency. Bills has
    sponsored state legislation to study whether Minnesota
    should adopt an alternative currency. Bills’ bill (H.F.
    1664):
    “A joint legislative committee is established to study the
    adoption of an alternative currency by and for the state of
    Minnesota and its citizens, in response to the abdication by
    the United States Congress of its constitutional duty to
    regulate the value of its money, which it has failed to do
    through the Federal Reserve System.”

    JCT: Okay, so he’s only asking for a study of what the
    Argentine Provinces did to save their nation. Step 1.

    JL: Financial experts are not so sure about Mr. Bills’ state
    currency idea.
    JCT: So before they even have the study, he’s found a
    professional economic wronster to doubt the idea. When was
    the last time an economist got anything right? Har har har.
    And wrong here again.

    For instance David Parsley, a professor of economics and
    finance at Vanderbilt University was quoted by CNN saying:
    “Having 50 Feds” could debase the U.S. dollar and even
    potentially lead the country into default.

    JCT: Har har har. And in Argentine, the very opposite
    happened. Inflation went down and they paid off all their
    foreign debt! Better not do that in Minnesota.

    LJ: The single currency in the United States is working just
    fine.

    JCT: Har har har har. The fact 99% don’t have any and are
    deep in debt doesn’t mean it isn’t working. It’s working
    exactly as it was designed to work, by the bankers. It’s
    working just fine.

    JL: I have no idea why anyone would want to destroy
    something so successful – unless they actually wanted to
    destroy the country.”

    JCT: Har har har. Delusional.

    JL: Despite the naysayers, the prospect of having a cool new
    state currency raises many creative possibilities for
    Minnesotans.
    Name. For instance, what would we call the new Minnesota
    currency?
    MinneDollar quickly comes to mind, but that seems much too
    obvious. Plus, if the dollar collapses, as Mr. Bills
    foresees, “MinneDollar” wouldn’t inspire much confidence,
    now would it?

    JCT: That’s why a MinneHour would inspire confidence like
    the Hours used in all timebanks inspire the confidence that
    they’re always worth 60 minutes of volunteer help.

    JL: Alternatively, perhaps Minnesota’s dollar could be
    called ” “The Viking,” to symbolize our ability to dust
    ourselves off after humiliating defeats, and come back for
    more humiliating defeats, without ever seeing the epic
    futility of it all. Very Minnesotan.

    JCT: Before the study is in, he’s calling it a loser! Har
    har har. The complete anti-thesis of winning is not looking
    at all possibilities and Mr. “let’s not look at Minnesota
    Moolah” proves he’s the loser. A man who calls something a
    loser before the study is done is a lunatic or a saboteur.

    JL: Motto. After our currency has a name and a face, it
    would need a motto, something akin to the saying on U.S.
    currency, “In God We Trust.” “In Ron Paul We Trust” also
    could work, since Mr. Paul is the brainchild of all this,
    and because he is treated like a deity by his adoring
    followers.

    JCT: No, Ron Paul is clueless about the high-tech timebarter
    world and I’ve never heard him promote community currency
    while he pushed his dinosaur idea to dig for yellow rock to
    use for our poker chips.

    LJ: But given the Minnesota Republicans’ obsession with
    proving they are tighter with the Almighty than everyone
    else, the GOP-controlled Legislature would probably make the
    motto something more like “In God We Trust, Unlike the
    Godless Liberals.” Bam. On-message.

    JCT: I like New York’s Ithaca Hours motto: In Ithaca We
    Trust. I’d also like “In Time We Trust.” Down with the Gold
    Standard of Money, Long Live the Time Standard of Money.

    LJ: The more I think about it, though, the more I think my
    vote for the new Minnesota currency name goes to “The Loon.”

    JCT: Aha, proof positive Joe doesn’t get the benefits of the
    community currency he’s making fun of. Go ahead and call the
    idea that Kurt Bills has asked to study looney before you’ve
    done your homework.

    JL: I know it’s hackneyed. But loons are graceful creatures
    with a gorgeous call that is closely associated with
    Minnesota’s iconic lakes. Loons are our State Bird. “Common
    Loons” are both beautiful and “common,” just like the great
    people of Minnesota. Besides, “The Loon” perfectly captures
    the merits of the Mr. Bills’ idea.

    JCT: Har har har. His parting shot at the idea of studying
    the community currency that worked in Argentine (and Russia
    in the 1990s is to call it loony! So our delusional low-tech
    scribe who thinks the world is just peachy leaves us
    laughing with his attempted low-tech smear at us high-techs
    laughing at him! What is it about avoiding interest-bearing
    loans that he doesn’t like? Is he happy being taxed to pay
    debt service on paper the Argentines avoided?

    So sadly, Kurk Bills’ bright idea gets dissed by a dim wit.
    Actually, not so sadly, it’s really kind of funny.
    Dismissing something before it’s been studied, a Joe
    Loveland kind of move.

    This post was written by Joe Loveland and originally
    published on Wry Wing Politics.

Leave a Reply