The St. Paul Area Chamber of Commerce hopes to make a splash today — the first day of the fourth month — by announcing it is recruiting Dennis Rodman, the basketball-playing friend of Kim Jong Un, “to broker a peace accord with long-time rival Minneapolis.”
Rodman is fresh off his peace-keeping effort, of sorts, in North Korea.
Said Matt Kramer, president of the St. Paul Area Chamber:
“While the Aquatennial is a weak-kneed imitation of a true Minnesotan Festival like the Winter Carnival, and no Minneapolis Mayor has yet to skate Crashed Ice as a Saint Paul Mayor has done, we mean no malice to our cousins in commerce across the river. It is our hope that Mr. Rodman can find that common ground that has so long eluded us.”
Rodman, the chamber said in its announcement, remained hopeful after a tour of the west metro metropolis, which has long been separated from the Saintly City by the Mississippi River:
“They are good people, odd for sure, but good people nonetheless. Let us join hands between the capital city, and that other one, and find ways to bring a lasting peace to this frozen land.”