Unlike the outcomes in Iowa and New Hampshire, if you win the MinnPost Verse or Worse competition, you have something that’s as good a week or two later as it was when you got it: A surprisingly magnificent MinnPost T-shirt.
And that’s what Chuck Kaiser will be sporting, probably with pride, possibly even after a week or two, because he won the votes of hordes of MinnPost readers for his mastery of the limerick form. Here, once more, by way of reminder, is his winning verse about the case of the non-shovel-lending policeman:
There once was a bus full of seniors,
Who gambled to get through their lean years.
When stuck in the snow,
They decided to go,
And break the first laws since their teen years!
Your next challenge does not call for verses, nor a counter of beats like a nurse’s: No more rhyming and meter, although naught could be sweeter… . Oops. Got stuck in limerick mode. Sorry.
Anyway, this time we are looking not for poetry but for new words. Specifically, give us a verb formed from a proper noun — somebody or something in the news in 2007 — then define it and use it in a sentence.
For example, to gonzalez: To seem to be unable to remember anything. “I was positive I was going to ace the final, but the minute I walked into the exam room I totally gonzalezed.”
Or to huckabee: To be known for having been unknown (the opposite of to paris or to hilton — to be famous for being famous). “You can only huckabee so long; after that you’re just hiltoning.”
As always, the judge’s selection of the best five entries will be utterly without standards and based largely on how much they amuse him.
Email your entry to asicherman [at] minnpost [dot] com by 5 p.m. on Jan. 17. At 5:01 p.m., I will enter MinnPost’s giant cold-storage facility and begin burrowing through the bales of entries. On Monday, Jan. 21, I will stagger out, clutching what I judge to be the top five, which I will post as soon as my fingers thaw. You’ll then have until Thursday, Jan. 24, to vote for the best one, which will win an awesomely adequate MinnPost T-shirt. The winning name will be posted on Monday, Jan. 28, along with a new challenge.
Keyboards ready? Let the verbiage begin!